I shouldn’t have to explain my self-worth to anyone.

I rarely discuss the romantic aspect of my life publicly. Let alone blog about it. The last blog that specifically covered my romantic life was written several years ago.

In any case, I’m gonna stop prefacing and get to it.

I’ve recently had some of the most memorable weeks of my life. Romantically that is. And I’m not just talking about myself. I’m talking about all the exceptional women around me. What can I say. 2017 made quite the entrance, and led us all to believe that this year, this year is the year where all of us kick-ass ladies would find our one and only.

Except we didn’t.

Let me start by sharing a few ‘fun’ short stories.

  • Translated for the UN, specifically requested to interpret major international conferences, wise advisor, loving sister, great friend. Meets boy. Falls in love. Boy proposes. Boy freaks out. Boy backs out.
  • Model-like body. Best heart. Wittiest soul. Exemplary daughter. Loyal-est friend. Loves boy. Boy loves her. Boy plays her. Boy ignores her. Boy asks her to travel with him. Boy disappears. Boy apologizes. Boy is too late.
  • Successful businesswoman. Absolutely stunning on the outside. Simply beautiful on the inside. Meets boy. Boy gets serious. Boy talks marriage. Boy flirts with other women. Boy disappears.

I don’t know about you. But I have the biggest girl crush on all three women. They’re outstanding. They’re the cream of the cream. They were discarded. Like the littlest of people. Like the pettiest of losers.

Except all of us rational-s know that they’re neither this nor that.

And the biggest question remains – how do we get ourselves in so deep, that we lose sight of who we are, who ‘boy’ is, and the incompatibility that we make ourselves believe is a ‘match made in Heaven.’

I’m not writing this because I found an answer. I’m merely paying homage to these incredible beings (and myself, really) who doubt themselves and their abilities everyday because of men who are simply, and for a lack of better term, not quite worth it.

I love men. This post is in no way, shape or form intended to dis an entire layer of society. I love them. And that will never (physically nor emotionally) change.

But I can’t help but resent the state that a good chunk of them put these women and me in.

But I did find a solution. A solution that will set me, these women, and our likes free.

A man who requires an explanation for why he should be with me (or them), really just shouldn’t. I (they) know who I am (they are). I (they) know what I (they) bring to the table. I (they) know what I (they) have to offer. And, at the risk of sounding arrogant, conceited, and full of myself (themselves), I’m (they’re) f**king amazing. And a man that I (they) have to explain that to is simply not worth my time, nor theirs.

I have spent way too much time investing in myself and my ‘life resume,’ which should really speak for itself.

I shall develop a one-pager that I hand out on dates from now on. You know, to get that bit out of the way early on.

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Thoughts & Abouts

I used to have many interests. Too many, in fact. Some stuck around, others faded away. But writing, writing seems to be here to stay. One day, I'll write a book. For now, my Thoughts & Abouts will have to do.

4 thoughts on “I shouldn’t have to explain my self-worth to anyone.”

  1. Rita, I enjoyed every word of your article. As a man, not only do I agree with everything you said but I also feel with you and with the ladies mentioned above.
    Yes, men have a responsibility when it comes to engaging steps towards a relationship with a woman. Men must be fully aware that a woman tends to be hopeful. In conservative societies men must also be aware that being a woman is extremely difficult especially when romance is involved.

    We tend to say that women do not know what they want. But unfortunately it’s also true for men. Men contradict themselves very easily when it comes to finding “the one”.

    All I can say is remain hopeful girls, because I am sure in the end wonderful people like you will find that guy who will help you understand why all the previous ones failed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Joe, you already know how highly I think of you, and this just upped it twofold. I didn’t want any of the men in my life (or outside it) to think that is just another post by yet another feminist. It’s about not allowing anyone to distort our image in our own heads. And as I said in one of my comments on FB, this concept extends far beyond love and relationships. And far beyond women. This is applicable to every aspect of everyone’s (including men’s) lives, careers included. If they don’t know your worth, you’re not the right fit for the organization anyway. Run.

      Like

  2. This is a very important topic that most of women deal with. I have just started my own account on Instagram and my main goal is to empower women not to put themselves into that position. I truly believe, in the 3 cases, it is not the BOY issue here, it is the LADIES issue:
    There are many factors in life that go back to our childhood that affect the way we deal with men.
    First the expectations we set based on our Father’s attittude towards us: a father who takes good care of his daughters, sets the standards high for her not to settle for anyone who does not deserve her. On the other hand, a father who imposes everything on his daughter will lead her to accept any man …. another thing we face as women, from very early ages, is the need to be validated, due to the fake images spread by media about the perfect curve and spotless face… that we tend to hate ourselves in case we do not match the standards and seek any source of attention. Therefore, when we are with men, we are vulnerable (though in society, we would be the most successful ladies, we can not see it ourselves) we seek their validation and attention. They feel we are in need. A Girl in Need is not appealing for a man who is always seeking challenge and hunting.
    I believe, all women shoukd really work on themselves to understand what they are looking for, to learn how to have selfrespect, selflove, selfesteem, selfconfidence, through articles and talks and research. They will reach a point where they will understand why they should not settle for less, why someone should deserve being with them, why they are an added value, so they stop comparing themselves to other women that they envy due to shape or look or position.
    Last advice, stop judging urself negatively, stop judging others negatively, stop judging your environment negatively…

    Liked by 1 person

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